Wednesday, January 04, 2006

RCIA Week 14

Tonight was absolutely wonderful. Father Phan came and taught our class an overview of the sacraments. It was simply amazing. I have gotten a great deal more blogging material from it, but not sure when I'm going to find the time to get it down. I would love to get it going soon, but I'm finding that my thoughtful posts where I dig up information and learn as I write take a couple of hours to complete. I was able to get several things done over Christmas break simply because I had the time. Not so now that school has started again. We have a speech tournament this weekend. Perhaps I'll take my Bible, Catechism and my notes and at least sketch an outline or something.
But I did want to leave you with something so I'm going to post something I pre-wrote last January.. probably almost exactly a year ago. I'm not sure of the exact date, because it isn't dated. One of the things I bought myself last year... probably around Christmas time was two journaling books. I wanted to work on my skills and do some practice writing. One of the books was called "Loose Ends" and it was writing letters to people that you would never send to them, but the act of writing them would help you get things out that needed to be out. One of the journals was to write a letter to God. It was an interesting concept. Sure, I've prayed, but to actually write out a letter to God... that was different. So here is the letter I wrote.

Dear God:
How do you start a letter to the Almighty? I should start with my thank-you's, I guess. Thank you for my life. Sometimes I'm not appreciative enough or complain too much, but I do thank you for my existence. I hope that in some way I can make a difference and perhaps glorify you in some way - with your help, of course. Thank you for Josh. He has been a true blessing to me. Please help me to be a good mother to him. And help him find you. Let him live a happy and passionate life. Thank you for my friends and family. You've given me some wonderful people. Thank you for Marty. I pray that if it's your will for us to be together that you make it so. Thank you for my pets. They have been great companions. Please take care of Fuzzball for me. And thank you for everything else - my job, my house, my "stuff". You have always provided for me.
Normally I should get into my sins at this point, but there's not enough room. I know I haven't lived according to your standards and I'm sorry. I hope you will guide me in being a better person.
As far as my spiritual journey goes, I'm at least opening myself up for it. I've opened the door a crack, but I'm hoping you'll burst in at some point. Yes, I'm still holding myself back. I'm still afraid. But I'm trying to figure things out and do what's right. I ask that you give me a bit of a helping hand in all of this. Continue to give me the desire to learn about Catholicism, and if it's your will for me to join the Church, give me the desire, courage, and strength to do it.

I know it ends rather abruptly, but that's when I ran out of room. And God has answered my prayers. Sometimes it's not the answer I was looking for... such as in the case of Marty. But more importantly, He has guided me in my journey into the Church and for that, I am so very thankful.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I sometimes keep a journal to write letters to God also. I find it is a good way to pray and also a good way to remember what you have prayed for and to see the answers.