I am sitting here crying. I think these are tears of joy in knowing that my sins are forgiven, tears of remorse for all the ways I have failed God, and simply tears of relief to have it over with.
It wasn't easy, but it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I had my list, I went through it rather quickly it seemed. Father talked to me about God's grace and how it is amazing that I was even there. I can say that I am walking, breathing, living proof of the incredible power of God. Just when I thought I could live life on my own terms and I didn't need God, He gently takes my hand and starts leading me home. And I am home. In a little over a week, I will be confirmed in the Church and will be able to experience the grace of the Eucharist, but in my heart I am already Catholic. In this moment I feel such an incredible holiness. For the first time since my Baptism I am completely in God's grace. A huge weight has been lifted from my soul. I truly want to serve God, I want Him to use me for His purpose. Now it's time to really get to work!
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3 comments:
Annabel,
I have followed yoru blog for quite some time now but I don't believe I have ever commented. You and I are on the same journey, at least in the fact that we are both being received into full communion with the Church a week from today.
It has been a long journey and one that I once felt, would never come to an end...not that being received into the Church is the end of the journey. No, I know it is only the beginning, but I"m sure you can related to what I'm saying about the longing for the Eucharist. The RCIA process is a wonderful one but sometimes I'd get SO impatient and just want to receive our Lord SO badly...
Ah, well...the waiting all comes to an end very soon as far as that goes. I have gone through periods of time when I had less time to read than I would have liked but I think you should know that I thought it was wonderful that you chose to write about your journey like this. I believe a lot of people have and will benefit from reading about your reception into the Church and the process required to get there.
Once your confirmation arrives, please don't stop writing about what it means to live out your Catholicism in your daily life. It is then that your journey REALLY begins!
May God bless you in all you do and may the power of Christ strengthen you always.
Sincerely in Christ,
Chris J.
Mobile, AL
P.S. I have to make my first confession one day this coming week, too - THAT should be interesting. And long. ;)
Thanks for your post! I am glad that somebody out there is reading! I am also so very happy that you are also going to be received into the Church. You are right that this is only the beginning and I do plan to continue to write about this journey. I do wish I could write more often, but life just gets in the way sometimes.
God Bless you as you grown in Christ. I pray that your confession is a great healing for you as well.
Annabel,
Thanks so much for your prayers and well wishes, too! Yes, I am a bit nervous about my first confession but I think I have a pretty good idea of what to expect and more than anything I am looking forward to the sense of relief from absolution from my sins. I do know it will be a huge blessing and a wonderful feeling to have received that sacrament. I can't wait for next Saturday. I'll continue to read your site as your write about your continuing journey in the faith...I totally understand what you man about things getting in the way when you want to write. Don't stress...you'll write when you can and it will be a wonderful experience for you as well as for your readers - trust me! :)
God bless you. I'll remember you in my prayers this week and would sincerely appreciate it if you'd do the same for me.
In Christ,
Chris
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