Thursday, April 06, 2006

Still Nervous

I am not sure that I am ready for my confession this evening. Part of me thinks I should have scheduled a specific private time with the priest. But then again, I really just want to get it over with. I know that it will be wonderful once it's all done... it's just getting to that point. I spent about an hour in prayer last night asking God to let me know all the things that I need to confess. Somehow I still feel that I haven't covered everything. I also know the things I will be telling the priest is nothing he hasn't heard before. It's just one of those things that I can certainly know that I will feel better afterwards, and know that I am not be judged by the priest, and know that it probably not going to be as bad as it seems, but it doesn't really make it easier. I am worried that my confession won't be complete. I am worried that I will take too much time. I am worried thatI am not feeling repentent enough. I do feel bad about my sins, and I know that they have separated me from God, and I am earnestly making an attempt to not sin any more, but somehow I feel it's still not enough. I can say, however, that since I have been going to mass, the urge to sin has greatly decreased. Lately, I am mostly guilty of venial sins. I just pray that things go well tonight. I pray that it will not be as bad as I expect it to be. I pray that I stop fretting over it so much. And I pray that God gives me the courage, wisdom and the words to make a truly complete confession.

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