Friday, September 16, 2005

On Faith

The homework we got in RCIA deals with faith. That's a pretty strong word. It's an issue I've dealt with many times over the years in my struggle to find God.

I have general faith. I believe in God, in Jesus and the Holy Spirit. I believe God is all-powerful and I know I should have complete faith him. But I admit I am weak when it comes to full-blown faith. And perhaps that is why those in some protestant denominations would say I've never really been "saved" because I have not had complete and total faith in God.

But I have learned that faith is a part of ourselves, yes, but more so it is the grace of God that gives us that faith. I know I have to do my part, but I think right now I just need to pray for more faith. In our homework lesson, there was a statement that really struck me. It said that trying to be in control of our own lives, selfishness, and anxiety are some things that can close us off from the gift of faith. And that is me right now. I always try to be in control of everything, I can be completely selfish and when am I not anxious or worrying about something?

But I'm going to try and that's all I can do. I will pray for faith. I will try to accept it when God gives it to me. Something else presented in the homework was that faith does not mean that we have all the answers; it means believing God has all the answers. So that's a good start for me, realizing the answers lie with God.

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