Monday, June 12, 2006

Rambling

Usually after the weekend, I have Father's homily in my mind and in my notes that I usually take and it spurs a blog entry. But I don't have that. I went to the 5:00 service on Saturday which was the first communion for the second graders. It was a very nice service and I was excited for all the children, but there was no homily. I don't have any particular thoughts to share so I may just ramble in this particular post.

I have been in a bit of a funk lately and I'm not sure why. I found myself depressed last week and I couldn't shake it so I did what usually works and spent time in prayer, reading my bible and praying the rosary. It always seems to help me feel better. I still don't have answers that I'm seeking from God and I know that He has plans for me of which I am not aware. I am trying to be patient, but it has not always been my strong suit. I want to know His will for me. I want to know if I'm meant to spend the rest of my life alone or if I will ever find the person that is what most people call their soulmate. I want to know if I'm on the right track. Sometimes I feel that I'm feeling around in the dark trying to find my way. I know God is leading me, but sometimes I just wish He'd turn on the light!

You'd think that having summers off would mean that I could or would devote more time to God and my faith. I've had great intentions for a lot of things, but haven't gotten very far. I do want to spend more time in studying the faith. I may never be a great apologist, but I really do want to learn more and be more capable in defending the faith. I wish there was a class locally that I could take in apologetics. I'd even help with it if I could, but I feel as though I'm needing something. With summer here, there's not adult faith formation classes and no RCIA. I am missing my midweek lift. Sure I could go to Mass, but I want more than that. I know everyone involved in religious education at the Church, like my friend Carol, are glad it's summer and they have a break, but this is the moment I actually have the most time to spare.

I haven't spent time making rosaries as I would like to. I'm strapped for funds at the moment but hope to do some more after next pay day. I don't know why I like making them so much. It's just relaxing and I like giving them to people that appreciate them. I've thought about selling them, but I always second guess myself about it. I think that there are so many other places you can get rosaries, so why would anyone buy one from me? I do think that they're a little more unique that some others, but I just don't know if anyone would be interested.

Well, it's time for me to get ready for summer band. Maybe I'll ramble some more later. Stay tuned.

2 comments:

Chris said...

Yeah, I can identify with wishing He would turn on the light.

I think we get comfortable in our lives, we have things were we like them. That's when God seems to start poking and moving things around. It like in baseball, you're the batter and God is the pitcher, you get all settled in waiting for the fast ball and God throws you a curve ball. We get comfortable looking for the fast ball and we don't want to step out and take a chance swinging at the curve.

sorry for the sports analogy but I work in athletics. I'm surpised more haven't found thier way into my blog.

Greg Long said...

Reminds me of the prayer- " God, grant me patience but hurry".